Everyone looks at the world a little differently. The world is full of individuals - each with his or her own perspective. And some of us are quite certain that our own views are the correct views. But are they? Commentator Scott Carlberg has this take on the importance of listening to others and trying to see the world through another person's eyes.
(Transcript)
The Importance of Active Listening
By Scott Carlberg
Our attitudes come easily, don’t they? We carry opinions like spare change. Sometimes, though, an ordinary moment changes how we can understand.
That happened to me at the place where I volunteer. The building has big glass front doors. Beautiful, but magnets for fingerprints.
One afternoon, I watched the cleaning person walk up to those doors and ponder the smudges. I expected a sigh. Instead, he smiled, “Look at the fingerprints. Excellent! We have a lot of people coming to see us.”
Didn’t expect that! On what planet are smudges good? I would feel irritation, not gratitude.
But he didn’t see smudges. He saw signs of success. Proof that people wanted to be with us.
Fingerprints as blessings, not chores.
That moment came back to me in conversation with a retired pastor. I asked what had changed most in his forty years of ministry. “People are meaner, won’t take time to listen.” He was sad.
He explained that folks want to feel smart for what they have already decided. Anyone who thinks any different is unquestionably stupid. Almost any topic!
How does that value others?
That’s not disagreeing. It’s dismissing. A closed ear is the first step to closing a mind.
That has consequences for us all. When we don’t listen, we miss the meaning behind someone’s words. We miss the chance to know what shapes their views. We miss the chance to persuade. You can’t move someone’s thinking, or really share your thoughts, if you refuse to hear where they are.
So, the question is: Do we still value real listening? Do we still value reflection, nuance, and the idea that another person’s experience might teach us something? Even a little something.
It’s easy to close a mental door. But the world is still full of fingerprints, marks of where people have been, what they hope for, what they fear, and where you may fit in.
If we see those marks as annoyances, we learn nothing. But if we see them as signs of presence and connection, listening becomes more than politeness. It becomes a way to grow.
A sci-fi novelist wrote, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
Making that journey on a road with bad attitudes limits the landscape for us. When we value the heads attached to the fingerprints, we have an improved journey.
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Editor's Note: In 1969, the quotation appeared in a novel, The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. Le Guin.
Commentator Scott Carlberg has spent more than 40 years in the energy communications business. He's also worked for corporations, non-profit groups and in the field of higher education.