LISTEN LIVE KPR - On Air: Listen Live to classical, jazz and NPR news Schedule LATEST
NEWSCAST
KPR 2 - On Air: Listen live to KPR's all talk-radio service, KPR2 Recordings

Share this page              

Sandwich Monday: Pizza-Flavored Energy Paste

We apologize to pizza.

Traditionally, the liquified foods marathoners choke down in the middle of a race have been limited to some pretty basic flavors: lemon-lime gel, vanilla goo, chocolate mystery substance.

No more! Clif has introduced pizza-flavored energy paste.

We tried it while competing together in an ultramarathon this weekend (this entire sentence is a lie).

Ian: It's like an IV bag for someone suffering from too much happiness.

Eva: If my wisdom teeth grow back and I have to get them removed again, I won't have to take a break from pizza this time.

Robert: Finally, a cure for the Passover pizza craving I suffer from every year!

To be fair, this stuff is designed for endurance athletes. See, it's specially formulated to punish people who won't stop talking about their marathon.

Eva: This'll be great for refueling during my couch triathlon!

Ann: I'm not a marathoner, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to induce vomiting while running.

Ian: Yes, Liquid Pizza. Because you should trust the choices of people who choose to run ultramarathons.

The ingredients listed include Organic Carrot Puree, Organic Quinoa, and Organic Sunflower Seed Butter, just like real pizza.

Eva: This is the gel they use for ultrasounds if you're pregnant with a pizza.

Ian: How could something that combines my love of pizza with my love of drinking be so terrible?

Robert: I usually have to drink a whole lot more to bring pizza back looking like this.

[The verdict: At their best, energy gels are not good. This is far from the best.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

Copyright 2015 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Tower Frequencies

91.5 FM KANU Lawrence, Topeka, Kansas City
89.7 FM KANH Emporia
99.5 FM K258BT Manhattan
97.9 FM K250AY Manhattan (KPR2)
91.3 FM  KANV Junction City, Olsburg
89.9 FM K210CR Atchison
90.3 FM KANQ Chanute
96.1 FM K241AR Lawrence (KPR2)

See the Coverage Map for more details

Contact Us

Kansas Public Radio
1120 West 11th Street
Lawrence, KS 66044
Download Map
785-864-4530 (Main Line)
888-577-5268 (Toll Free)
contact@kansaspublicradio.org